My Exploding Cat

Just stories and drawings really, no actual fissile felines.

The Scrap Box: Ideas

These ideas have simply been chucked aside for one reason or another, but I may incorporate them into something else. Please don’t steal them exactly. If you do use them at all for your own purposes, please change them… as drastically as possible. If you can’t change them drastically? Get your own. Call up the Idea Fairy or something. Find your Muse and mug her.

 


Cat’s story

Cat has a normal life in a halfin village. She works with some other people to develop new fighting techniques –the fancy name for beating the crud out of each other until they all get sick. Then they figure out what works so they can beat the crud out of each other better and teach other people how to beat the crud out of each other, and get sick better too. Cat is one of the better fighters. Then she finds that she and the other fighters have all been kidnapped by some kind of creature. Cat thinks they’re aliens. Since she’s seen pretty much everything, this doesn’t surprise her. But she doesn’t believe in aliens from outer space—Cat just thinks they’re from another dimension. This is a plausible explanation; in Cat’s book, coming from another dimension is like coming from another state. Why was she kidnapped, though? To be a weapon. She is placed in a cage, in a warehouse-like holding room with a bunch of other innocent people—some human, some not, but all fighter types. Unwise. Putting fighters together gives Cat an idea, and she escapes her cage by picking the lock with a long claw, pounces on the now-freaked guards and knocks them out, steals their keys, and sets everyone free. She escapes with them, but when they are outside the building and in the forest, everyone has to split up when more guards keep chasing them. Cat dispatches several before continuing (including the project leader), and follows a blonde girl in a princess outfit who looks really out of place. It turns out that they took her servant/bodyguard, she fought to get him back, and they took her as well because she was so angry that it made her good. But it messed up her hair.

Cat follows the girl out of pure interest in how the heck she planned to survive on her own, but the girl refuses at first because she doesn’t want to be seen with Cat’s grubby countenance by her side. She changes her mind when Cat tries to show her how to catch and clean rabbits, and decides that Cat will do the dirty work for her. So she drags her along. But it turns out that Khorabelle is stuck with a curse: she constantly ends up in fairy-tale catastrophes. Getting stuck in towers and guarded by dragons, getting used as a housemaid until she finds a prince (all of whom she’s turned down because of their greasy hair), and getting kidnapped by weird monsters. She’s learned to fight, but she refuses to because she might get blood on her clothes. Cat follows Khorabelle through a bunch of strange disasters, including a new version of Shrek in which Cat herself is involved as Puss in Boots. Since she’s half cat, this kind of works. But this version of Shrek, with a more-struggling blonde Fiona who has more to worry about than greasy hair, ends in Cat intervening and killing both the weird king and the ogre dude.

They both escape, and Khorabelle reveals that she can fly, because she’s actually half harpy, like Cat is half cat (with some Chikian ancestry thrown in). Khorabelle flies high and locates Cat’s village. Fortunately, they’re in the same dimension as the village. But when they arrive, nobody’s there. So Cat sniffs out the trail (literally). Her brother made it easy for her, because he’s trying to break the village record of Longest Time Without Bathing: six months. She knows it’s definitely him. With Khorabelle holding her nose the entire way, Cat follows the trail of flatulence and ambient dirt to the same project manager she was sure she killed in the beginning of the book. With her new Shrek-obtained sword (actually, his name was Shruck, and there weren’t very many poems about him), she kills him permanently. Maybe. It turns out that all the managers are zombies… that explains a lot. Of course, Cat knows that the standard way to kill a zombie requires a chainsaw, bazooka, machine gun, or sword. Well, she has the Puss in Boots sword now.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Cat cuts through the numerous zombie dudes. But the lead director is a vampire—a schizophrenic, paranoid, cackling mad vampire. With no wooden stakes anywhere. No wood anywhere.  No sunlight, either. And you can bet that the cooks don’t use garlic (which makes very bad pizza). Harnessing the weak(?) Chikian magic she possesses from her ancestors, Cat simply grows a tree and takes a branch off with the sword, which she uses to sharpen it. Now she’s killed the vampire, but the sword is dull. Cheap thing. Uh oh… there are more zombies.

Cat’s response?

Run.

Cat remembers that Chikik can travel in trees, so she has everyone touch the same tree while she tries to travel in it. Not working—run more. She tries again with a different tree. It turns out that the first “tree” was made of plastic and was a decoration. Crazy vampire. Anyway, they’ve escaped now. The zombies track them down anyway, but Cat is all the way back home by then. With a machine gun.

[You can see why this didn’t work. …It’s Mirrorworld-era.]

 


Wizard plans to go correct problem himself. Daniel finds out and follows with Sophie in tow. Wizard is too “independent” and his personality doesn’t mix well with Daniel’s. Wizard’s fairy starts getting protective but is no match for Sophie’s wit. Daniel keeps losing the fight, though, and the fairy and Sophie get switched out when the wizard leaves his fairy with Daniel and Sophie to keep her safe (which she doesn’t need, but she’s a fairy, so he automatically thinks she’s wispy air), and leaves to do the quest. Daniel sends Sophie to follow the wizard (he thinks she’ll be the one to actually do the quest, and so does she), and they both manage, in this apart time, to convince the other to calm down. Or, in Sophie’s case, heat up. They end up with a calm, placid fairy and a fight-to-the-death boy. Oops.

[Not sure what this was.]

 


Ilya’s Story (one of many attempts at organizing this plotline)

Xayen

Age: fifteen

Description: Odd, appears out of nowhere. Tells Ilya what to do at times, but most of the time, doesn’t know. Doesn’t give a flying nut about riddles, hints, or keeping secrets. (Man, I love that expression.) Has cute little oval glasses.

Species: Fairy (Divis fairy)

Lives: Divis

 

Felicia

Age: Thirteen

Description: Super-intelligent girl, dark hair, gray eyes, an avid blogger. Is on the school newspaper. Protective of people who get picked on.

Species: Human (m.w., after the new dimension is discovered—she becomes an enchantress)

Lives: Divis

 

Sophie

Age: Fifteen

Description: Super-sarcastic enchantress, gets down to business and takes no nonsense. Sophie could care less what everyone else is doing because she knows how to solve the problem, and the people running in circles are a minor footnote as long as they don’t mess stuff up. She’s not used to Ilya and her strange not-wielder magic. She’s not sure what Ilya is, but knows she’s not human, and definitely not fairy (since Divis fairies are about as tall as a pop can). Even though Sophie has become an expert in mythical creatures, she can’t identify Ilya at all, even as a halfin between species.

Species: Human enchantress

Lives: Earth, but travels a lot.

 

 

 

 

Plot:

Ilya is a not-so-normal girl living in the Divis dimension, the one dimension without any contact to any other dimension. She’s never heard of an enchantress or a dragon, never seen a wizard. She has seen fairies, though, and something else: herself. She’s not sure what she is, but she knows she isn’t human. After all, the huge mint-green wings, pointy ears, and too-sparkly pale blue eyes aren’t very normal. And she can’t be a fairy, because if she was, she’d only be about four inches high.

But then the Divis dimension comes into contact with all the other dimensions, and a girl Ilya’s age, Felicia, accidentally leaps a dimension on a walk in the park. Automatically assuming that the other dimensions are a threat, the Divis people attack the other dimensions. Sophie Inez, an enchantress in the Agency, a group of human magic wielders who protect the dimensions so they can have their daily share of doughnuts, is coming to give a peace-talk-type thing (although anything with the word “peace” in it doesn’t really include Sophie). Since Sophie is the second best wielder in existence, none of the threats that the Divis people would pose other people bother her.

Sophie manages to stop the fighting with a mixture of reason, sympathy and good ol’ threatening. For about five seconds. Then the other side of the battle (a shady dimension called Xelith) captures Ilya, who was carrying nothing but her violin. No food, water, anything. And they’re not about to give her a whole lot.

It turns out that Ilya, whatever she was, was the guardian of the Divis dimension. While she’s gone, the dimension is fading into nothingness, and Felicia, who is Ilya’s friend, is starting to worry. So Felicia goes straight to the only person she knows could possibly fix any of this: Sophie.

Felicia catches Sophie just before Sophie can leap dimensions back to home for reinforcements.

[Ilya’s Story was something I tried to write about two years ago, during Student Council. Freshmen aren’t really given things they can do there–you need social contacts for that. So I wrote out a whole bunch of Ilya, at six in the morning–along with reading the first Eragon, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Needless to say, Ilya isn’t very good.]


Hotel’s highest attic-ish room, octagonal, windows that let in light, white, two beds, view of gardens below.

[Came from a dream I had.]


 

What if a mind-reading, magic-using stalker was after you?

What if a dimension went missing?

What if Sophie and a non-fighter of another wielder type changed bodies to save the wielder’s life?

What if cats talked to whoever listened, but for a price? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What if there was a place where you could fight as you wanted without getting hurt, but once you started going there regularly, it was hard to tell the difference between that and the real world?

What if a fairy hid in a school and a wielder found her…xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Maze of cloth tunnels leading to colony of magical _____, plenty of twists & turns for people to get lost in that “determine their link” to the magical ______, but this is a bunch of hooey and there are lots of people trapped in the cloth

[A list of ideas I had, late Mirrorworld-era.]


I played with the ice cube in my drink, making them slide up the side of the plastic glass. Moved my finger. Down and clunk. It hit the bottom. Then up, up, up again, twirling my index finger ceaselessly until the ice cube rose up a few inches… then moved my finger. Clunk. I twirled the glass, listening to the scraping sound of half-melted ice on plastic.

 

Sssswhhhwssshhhhhh.

 

Because, you see, I could move water.

 

Well, technically only ice. But I could freeze water. Summon ice out of nowhere. Boom. Have an ice cube. What a great party trick.

 

But there was no way I was letting anyone in on this talent, so even the party-trick use was out. If I let someone know I could control ice, then everyone else would know and I’d never stop hearing “Ice Ice Baby” whispered behind my back. I’d never hear the end of the “what a cool knack” jokes. The “wow, that’s cool” factor didn’t make up for the inevitable immaturity.

[A more recent idea. Had it in a Steak and Shake.]


“Forget it. You know what? If people are going to be killed, just—killed… I’m out of this.”

“David! It’ll be wasted if you—“

“It’s already wasted. It doesn’t matter what we do with the power from it! That sacrifice was not worth anything we’re getting.”

“Don’t you dare—“

“I said forget it! I’m leaving. If this is magic, I’m not continuing!”

“This isn’t all there is.”

“Well, seems like it’s some of it,” David said. “And I don’t want any of it.”

“You’ve always wanted—“ she tried again, but David interrupted for a third time.

“I don’t want to be a wizard any more.” He threw down his staff and started to walk away.

[Inspired by the instructions to Munchkin (the card game). Just something I jotted down on my laptop, in case I could fit it in later.]


Stephanie, a magic wielder, doesn’t know what wielder type she is. Even though that isn’t uncommon, Stephanie’s pretty sure that she’s the only one who’s afraid to practice magic in front of other people—including her teachers. Everyone knows that she belongs there, because the strange stuff that happens around her seems to be uncontrollable, and they don’t want it out in the general public, because if magic wielders are well controlled, perhaps they could reduce the number who don’t use magic for the right purposes. However, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to sneak out and grab a slushie in the middle of the night using her powers.

 

See, Stephanie’s a singer—and a dancer. And even though she’s deathly shy, she definitely knows how to sing and dance her way into spells that can do anything from making breakfast to letting her fly. But since she adamantly refuses to show the teachers how she does magic, it’s pretty hard to learn new spells. There’s one person she will do magic in front of, but he’s not exactly the mentor type, more resembling Snape from Harry Potter, but without a particular hatred toward Stephanie. He can’t teach her much, either, since he sings about as well as a fish and dances a lot like one too. This is all fine until Stephanie dances her way into the knowledge of a monster, and it ain’t the Cookie Monster. If Stephanie’s not careful, she and her unusual magic could be absorbed into the monster’s one consciousness and thirst for power and invulnerability. And if the monster got her unknown magic, then nobody could catch it, since nobody even seems to know that her kind of magic exists and so can’t prevent the monster from using it!

“Stephanie, you’re losing it. You’ll never be able to sleep that way, if that’s the last move you do.”

“I guess you’re right,” she conceded. “But I wish there was a way to do this—I mean, another way.”

“There isn’t.”

“Well, that’s obvious, isn’t it?” Stephanie said, looking into the eyes of her stern partner, who was nonplussed by her concern. He wasn’t the empathetic type. He cared mainly about the situation, and not about the players involved, whom he saw as obstacles. To him, people were usually just things you had to explain to when you suddenly went off into the night to fix things. He tolerated Stephanie, though, who wasn’t really help but just happened not to be a problem, since she usually took care of herself and followed him instead of wasting his time making him explain everything. She thought she was being stubborn, but he wasn’t about to resist her demand to know what was going on when he wandered away from the college.

[How Zoe started. That one is available under “Unfinished Novels” in the Books tab up top.]


I am in bed, reading. My alarm clock sits next to me, and in boxy print glowing green, it says 11:01. That’s right. No, I’m talking at night. My latest read is so compelling that I just can’t sleep without knowing what will happen next. I’m halfway through the book. I don’t know how I’m going to manage to peel away from the book and get to school, let alone get to sleep. My insomnia is too extreme to do anything but read. I’m tired, but I can’t sleep. I need to finish this book first.

Maybe, just maybe… I have to find a way to not go to school tomorrow. I have to find a way to be able to stay home and read. There’s no way I’m going to school tomorrow. Tomorrow is Review Day and I know everything backwards and forwards. I’d be bored and not learn anything anyway. It would be more educational to stay home and read than to go to school.

I know that my mom, despite this, would never agree and would send me to school anyway. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before.

Hide.

Will it work? Who knows. All I know is that I’m enthralled with this book. The main character’s parents had the last name Borealis, so they just had to name their poor kid Aurora. Her nickname is naturally North, because (in case you didn’t know already) Aurora Borealis means the Northern Lights.

What Aurora doesn’t realize is that light goes beyond just her name. North has the magics of the famous lights, and she has only recently found out. It’s really interesting, and I’m finishing this book and going to bed.

[Ancient. This is from before I even finished Tricks of the Light.]


Accidents just happen. They aren’t planned, forecasted, or thought about. They just happen. This is the general rule.

But to every rule, there are a few exceptions or odd cases; and I know, I know that this was thought about, forecasted (by me), and planned. That’s the problem. Because anything planned, forecasted, and thought about can be extremely dangerous.

I’d better tell you who I am. See, this is a novel told from first-person view, and I hate it when I’m reading a novel told from this perspective and the main character’s hanging off a cliff, and so you’re like, Who the heck is this? Well, I’m not hanging off a cliff, because hanging off a cliff is extremely dangerous in the short-term, but in the short-term, you might say that I’m safer than I’ve ever been. In the long run, that’s another story.

Anyway, I’m a 13-year-old girl, and I’ve got problems worse than boys. More on that in a minute. I’m tall, and I’m kind of the master of sarcasm, even though nobody here understands it.

See? Now wasn’t that better than just knowing that the main character – and you – are hanging off a cliff?

My problems. Where to start? I was twelve years old when I was taking lessons from my mom on how to do professional pedicures, right smack in the middle of the morning. Then – surprise surprise – the doorbell rang. I was expecting, when I answered it, to see nobody there, because the kids in our little teeny suburban neighborhood hadn’t outgrown the “ding dong ditch” routine. And guess who was there? See, now you’re expecting me to be wrong. Shame on you. I was right.

As soon as I got back to the kitchen, the doorbell rang again. I saw a little shadow behind our door. Our door is glass, and it has a little tan curtain that goes form the very top to the very bottom. Anyway, I could see a little shadow, maybe the size of a four-year-old, behind the curtain. I figured that this kid was too young to know how to ding dong ditch a house, and probably can’t find his mom or something, so I rushed to the door. Probably doesn’t even know what his last name is –

I opened the door, and nobody was there. Of course not. Instantly there was a knock at the back door. Freaky. Something, something made me run to it and open it, scream into the air. Then I was pushed outside, and a little something, a tiny, black, round piece of plastic was stuck onto the back of my hand, and something slightly wet was put on the back of my neck – they’d knocked me down by now – and that was the last thing I remembered for a long time.

I woke up behind the bars of a jail cell. Well, that wasn’t expected. An ambush in broad daylight. Then the cell opened, on the very far end, and everyone ran, fast, into the corners of the cell. So that was when I knew that there were other people with me. Then I ducked into a tiny crevice in the bottom of the wall, and a little boy was chosen.

“You’re new, aren’t you?” whispered a girl, maybe nine, next to me.

“Yes,” I said.

“Shh!” she hissed. “Those are tallgnomes. You don’t want to be chosen and taken away. Tallgnomes feel a need to understand everything in the universe, including the human brain. I won’t go into detail.”

I spent a good month there. In that month, I never got a good look at my companion. After that month, I got a little idea, but I needed a few things.

 

“Riva! Do you know where I can get something to write with and on? It might get us out of here!”

“Yes, I have paper and pencil. I’m never without them.” She handed them to me.

“They have a good vocabulary, right?” I asked.

“Yes.”

I wrote:

NOTE: We have not been capturing fully developed life forms. We must find life forms that have been fully developed before proceeding. Life forms may never develop fully in a closed environment such as ours. We should allow them free to let them develop before taking them, and come back for them later.

Hey, paying attention in Science helped for once!

Then came the question I was dreading having to ask. “Um, Rita?” I said. Rita’s head turned, and I saw the thoughtful gaze in her deep blue eyes.

[I think this one is even older than the one above it!]


[This one was hidden deep in the Tricks of the Light folder.]

Note: Try a book where Brian is required to shapeshift into a girl.

[Um.]