My Exploding Cat

Just stories and drawings really, no actual fissile felines.

Chapter 22

To put it short, Angel was proclaimed to be the hero of the village and the Giver of Light and a lot of other things. Then the cats gave her the keys to the village, free everything for however long she wanted to stay and whenever, a mansion’s blueprints were written for her and her alone, and, most importantly, she was given the book. Actually, the book was pushed at her along with everything else, but the group managed to escape the village (and the microphone – they’d wanted Angel to make a speech) with the book, and many, many invitations (or maybe commands) to come back. On the way out, they picked up another talking book out of a tree. It was trying to come at them from all different angles in an attempt to convince them that retrieving it was a good idea.
“My name is Psychologist. How do you do? I’m a very polite book.”
“I don’t eat anything.”
“You’d better get me out of this tree or magical forces will curse you.”
“I’m very good-natured!”
“You know I have a very burly bodyguard in the city… I hope you like lions if you just walk on.”
“I’m very valuable. I know a lot of stories and I can cheer up even the most depressed person!”
“Yeah, you better start climbing.”
“Oh, Romeo, wherefore art thou? I dread not attempt to comprehend a word of this book!”
“Lalalalalalalaaaaa….. I’m a big purple dinosaur!”
“What do ya do with a drunken sailor, what do ya do with a drunken sailor… *hic*”
“Drop me and die.”
It was at this point Daniel climbed out of the tree and clamped the covers shut.
“Mmmph mph mmph!”
Then a more threatening, “MMMMPH.”
The book turned a rosy pink and mumbled, “Mph mm m-m-m, m-mph-mmm!”
And it was at this point that Sophie finished fishing around in her pack and produced from it an enormous roll of duct tape. Daniel took the roll and put one strip over the covers and said, “That should do it.”
Sophie stepped over, took the tape and book, and said, “You don’t have enough big brothers, Daniel. That’s not going to work.”
She put about nineteen strips of duct tape on it total, so the book was almost mummified. It was still softly mumbling, though.
“This book is a Psychiatrist, but it’s no good any more. It’s gone insane. They all do, after a while. The magic content is still good, though. As long as the tape holds, it’ll be safe. Put it in the spare pack, though. You don’t want to know why.”
Together, clumsily, Daniel and Ryder put the book in the spare pack. It took a while, because they were almost juggling it, neither of them wishing to touch it for any length of time. Sophie thought it looked like they were playing Hot Potato.
“What.” Daniel tossed the book to Ryder, who winced. “Kind.” Ryder tossed it back, and Daniel put up his hands as a shield instead of catching the book, and it fell to the ground instead of landing in his hands. “Of.” Daniel picked the book up as if it had some kind of toxic poison on it that would kill him if he touched it for too long. “Magic.” He bopped the duct-tape-bound book back in Ryder’s general direction, almost throwing it. “Wielder.” Ryder smacked it back and made a discreet gagging sound, if a gagging sound can be discreet. “Type.” Daniel let it fall to the ground and kicked it away. “Is a.” Ryder knelt down and pushed it back. “Psychiatrist.” It was at this point that Daniel ran away and clambered up a tree, away from the offending object. Ryder turned his head in disgust and sent a spell to put the book in the pack. Sophie rolled her eyes, not the first time that day, and asked the air under her breath why they didn’t do that in the first place.
Daniel, from his perch in the tree, made the backpack hover on its own because, being an experienced pushover, he would otherwise be the one to carry it. He’d decided beforehand that on this trip, he was going to avoid getting stuck doing something he didn’t want to do. Avoiding wasn’t quite the same as saying No, but it was a step up.
Then the group started walking again, in no particular direction, with no idea where they were going or where they needed to be.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 28th, 2009 at 7:35 pm and is filed under Mirrorworld. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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