My Exploding Cat

Just stories and drawings really, no actual fissile felines.

Sophie’s Recipe for Disaster cookies

Sophie’s Recipe For Disaster cookies
WARNING! Not a Real Recipe, and Illegal in the United States. Do Not Attempt (unless you can go to the Mirrorworld. If you can, tell me if you have any success with it. Hopefully more than I did).

Ingredients:
5 cups powdered sugar
40 cups flour (my multiplying was off a decimal again I think. Maybe it’s 400…)
1 pk chewing gum
Like a whole bag of chocolate chips, or a chocolate bar, but I see chopping it up as a waste of time
3 cups eggnog sounds good.
1 cup salt
Throw in some oatmeal I guess if you’re a health nut.
1 cup baking soda
1 cup baking powder (although, does anyone know what the difference is between this and the soda stuff? And where do they sell baking soda? Does it even come in a bottle?)
Um I think that’s it. Throw in whatever you want.

THIS SECTION FOR MASTERS ONLY! NO TASTE TESTING!

Take your pick of poisons:
~Opium
~Mercury
~Cocaine
~Ricin (everything in my cookies is homemade…)
~ You get the idea
DISCLAIMER: This last bit is illegal except in the Mirrorworld. So don’t try it at home… try it there. *smirk*

Procedure: Um….. mix the wet stuff. Then mix the dry stuff. Then dump the wet stuff in the dry stuff, put the whole thing in a stand mixture, turn it up to the highest speed you got, run for cover, and watch the flour fly around the kitchen. If you put ricin in it, don’t touch it you idiot. Note: It’s advised you don’t use ricin, because your AHEM GUESTS may be AHEM CONCERNED if you handle the platter with gloves that look like you tore them off a space suit and you’re wearing a gas mask. And, no, they don’t buy the “new style for oven mitts” story. (I learned the hard way.) Okay, so um, if it looks like a protein shake by now add more baking powder/soda or more powdered sugar until it looks roughly doughlike. Oh and I don’t use eggs as I heard in National Something-Or-Other that eggs increase your risk of malaria. What WAS that magazine called? Hmm. I think I have a guess but how to spell it. National Ink-wirer?

Shovel it out (be literal here in case your *guests* say they only want one because they’re on a diet) and put the cookies into the oven at 400 degrees (you can make that Celsius if you’re short on time) until things start smelling funny or you see smoke. Make sure you put lots of powdered sugar in cuz it looks girly. Watch your guests gag, call 911 like a sissy instead of beating them on the back as hard as you can until it comes out. Then prepare your story for the cops, which you won’t need in the Mirrorworld as killin’ peeps is encouraged. But it’s not your fault anyway because you’re just a sweet little girl. 😉

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009 at 11:15 am and is filed under Fun Stuff, Mirrorworld. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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